Emotionally unavailable man seeks co-dependent female
for slow descent to hell.
- Female must be skilled in taking responsibility at all times.
- Ability to apologise an essential requirement.
- Experience in forgiveness is also essential as this will frequently be required.
Candidates will be able to demonstrate a background of abusive childhood relationships and accompanying low self esteem, but must have impeccable credentials and attractive appearance and a tried and tested commitment to hope and be keen to please. A strong constitution is an advantage, as stamina is required to withstand constant passive aggressive behaviour, as is an ability to withstand the “crazies” in the face of false allegations and misplaced blame. Occasional acts of violence may be experienced but are unlikely to result in visible injuries.
The successful candidate will mostly likely be known for her kindness, tolerance, intelligence and a sense of humour and will be in much demand. Unattractive females need not apply.
Applicants will be interviewed and a trial period offered. At interview they will need to demonstrate familiarity with the pattern of behaviour of EA men. It is unlikely that the candidate will know whether or not she has been successful for the post until after the probationary period (at least a year generally) has expired and various preliminary tests have been undergone.
There are no rewards for long service nor retention rights. Every candidate can expect to be replaced after a period of approximately three to four years unless exceptional service has been rendered.
There is no exit package or pension. The successful candidate is advised to make her own arrangements.