Unresponsive rejecting dismissive mother
No hugs, no praise
So low down Maslow’s pyramid
No self esteem
No safety even
She is unhappy too
Father likes his children more than her
This makes her feel bad
This is not what she thought it would be
We are her patients not her children
Never in pain, just uncomfortable
Loved most when we are ill
She keeps the children away from him
In bed before he comes home
He escapes home to the water
Alone, free, no concerns
They row, he throws a plate
And the scrambled egg slides down the wall
Tantrum, little paddy, cussed.
He takes his daughter with him sailing
And they enjoy together the feeling
Of being alone, just the wind
And the boat
She is resentful
But resentment is not allowed
You shouldn’t need praise
Even on your wedding day
Don’t look beautiful
You look like him
Look plain
And I don’t want to be preferred
So I run myself down
Self-deprecate
Fail
To make it easier for the others to compete
And he cannot reconcile
The preference and so
Pushes me away
He should love her most
They hate me
With their velvet gloves
And I wander the minefield
Between unwanted love
And hate
Arms up to shield me against the incoming
Bombs of anger and frustration
That never stop coming
My sister piloting the plane.
Relief when She dies
Not having to love her any more
Death is the end
Nothing remains
Save a brick in an ugly wall
My doctor said keep the marriage
relationship the most important
Everything else follows from it
So wise.

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